As I sit here on the last day of the year and look back on the past 12 months that God has gracefully blessed me with, I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the people that have been placed in my life.
My friend and sister in Christ Kayleen has taken on a mentoring role in my life during this year and I can’t thank her enough for the influence she has had on me. In the past few months we’ve been slowly working through a book about the fruit of the Spirit, and there have been so many times where these timely studies have been exactly what I needed to hear. Her two gorgeous little daughters have also been a source of joy for me, and I’ve cherished the days that I’ve been able to spend with them, having picnics, dancing barefoot in the loungeroom (pants optional), eating sandwiches and (some of us) smearing the ingredients all over the dining table. I’m ever so thankful.
I’m thankful for the support of my church, who have put up with all my requests for prayer that were sometimes really vague or punctuated with “umm, like, I dunno” and bouts of nervous laughter, as well as the rants that I’ve gone on about things that most people don’t know or really care about – beneath it all I’ve really needed it, and I’m so appreciative for each one of you who have listened, offered me advice, support and encouragement. Particularly, thank you for actually listening. Really, God uses you guys, so I want to encourage you to keep being the family that you are. You are so precious to me.
I’m also thankful for the enormous blessing of the relationship I’ve had with my dear friend and companion Disney this year, where he’s been the comic relief in my family life, as well as the island of logic and support that I’ve needed where I’ve floundered in questions and doubts about a lot of things, ranging from what I want for lunch, to what I want to do with the rest of my life and the kind of person I’m becoming. It’s difficult to imagine where I would be without him.
As I venture out into 2013, I’m not sure how it’s going to look. I mean, yes, the basic idea is that I go overseas for 6 months, and then come home. But in terms of people and support at home, I’ll be, in many ways, leaving it behind. I’ve yet to face a lot of hard decisions and struggles, and even now I still falter on stuff I thought was certain. Leaving my life behind for 6 months was never going to be easy. I’ve cried about it many times before, and even as I write this I’m crying about it again. I’ll be honest and say I want to go to Cambodia, but I don’t want to leave my home.
This is hard for me; I don’t know how else I can say that. Please, if you feel it on your heart in the coming weeks to pray for me, I really need it. I can’t do this without the support of prayer. I know deep down that God is looking out for me, but despite that, I still get scared and unsure. I’m just praying for guidance, for peace, and for courage.
Thank you all, again, for sticking around and supporting me in this. May God return your blessings tenfold. I pray that He will be an ever-present guide in your life and that 2013 is the year that you step out and do something for Jesus that you’ve been avoiding because you’ve been scared. So far, nothing I’ve done for Him has ever caused regret in my life. I pray that you will grow in the coming year too.